THE FUTURE AWAITS!

Angelic Garbage

“Ah, I knew you would come!”

“Because you’re a fortune teller?” Callie glared.

“Duh, my dear.” Ebenezer rubbed his hands together with glee, and his eyes sparkled with evil potential.

“Fooey,” Callie grumbled at the elf without expression. “Give me my fortune then, Seer.”

“Holy gods, grant me enlightenment! I require your assistance.” Jingling his magical Zoong bells, Ebenezer called on some higher powers.

“Kill me now,” she muttered, not realizing the gods were listening.

“Lo! My magical cloud of prophecy appears!” Neatly folding his hands, the elf gazed intently at the air before him, where a thick mist had somehow appeared.

“OMG.” Petrified in amazement, Callie watched the elf and his mist ball.

“Qualified for Magical Operations, it says here, don’t you read?” Rolling his eyes, Ebenezer handed the girl his business card yet again.

SABLE MAGIC SERVICES (HEREAFTER ‘SMS’)—PREDICTIONS OF THE FUTURE ARE GIVEN WITH A 75% ACCURACY, AND SMS IS NOT TO BE HELD LIABLE FOR ANY CONVERGENCE OR DISJUNCTIONS NOT FORESEEN AT TIME OF SERVICE…etc…

“Tepid cloud, reveal your secrets,” the elf said, ignoring Callie completely.

“Ummm…” Voices came out of the cloud, sounding like many screeching cats, “We really can’t say anything about her future; she is already dead.”

“Xanthos gum!!!” Yellow with annoyance, the elf turned and saw Callie stretched out dead on the floor.

“Zipper to your pants is down,” the cloud laughed, dissipating into thick air.

“Now I know my ABC’s.” Ebenezer shrugged. “Thank the gods she paid in advance!!!”